melting records...

So last night I was at my friend's cousin's house and his place is nearly floor to ceiling vinyl- it's nuts. He's got a nice setup and a fresh mix of tunes at anytime, but he was talking about all these extra records or ones that are really scratched that he didn't know what to do with. I don't remember how it came up, but we googled instructions on making dishes or bowls out of melted records. We promptly spent the next hour or two experimenting with different bowls and molds and slight variations in oven temperatures. It was really fun! He said I could take one home, and I was thrilled to see that one of the prettier ones was also the Mary Poppins Soundtrack! Here's another shot of the bowl:



And I thought this was a funny quote:



In case you can't quite read it: "I didn't lie, I was writing fiction with my mouth"

Delicious and nutricious!

"No one is okay, and all of us are fine."

This is my new mantra. I am currently going through some rough times emotionally. The course material for this part of the semester is really hard for me. We are studying maternity and fetal development. About two and a half years ago, I was pregnant and lost my baby halfway through the pregnancy. To make a long story short, I had to deal with this mostly on my own because my ex-boyfriend was such a royal ass (don't even get me started...). My parents and friends were very supportive but it was really a shock because i was so far along in the pregnancy (already at 20 weeks). I had to be admitted to the hospital for what was basically induced labor. I know this is all very personal, and I'm not sure why I'm feeling so open, but mostly I am trying to deal and process this tragic event in my life that somehow I never fully dealt with.

So needless to say, the maternity section will be very challenging. I did tell my clinical instructor so that she knew what i was working with in case something happened during our labor and delivery rotation. As soon as I started telling her, my eyes welled up with tears, and still now, I can't seem to keep the tears at bay. There are so many images and visceral reactions that get triggered by the lectures and readings. Like I said, this will be a challenging semester. But I have many great girl friends in the program as well as some wonderful old friends here in Austin that I've known since middle school.

Self-care is very high on my list of priorities this year. I have forced myself to be an early riser. (it's not as hard as i thought) Every day (even weekends) for the last ten days I have gotten up at six am- without snoozing! For any of you who lived with me in the past know that i used to set my alarm a good forty minutes early just so i could hit the snooze button a few times! Along with getting up early, I have been taking about thirty minutes to sit quietly in the living room with a mug of tea and a thoughtful book I'm reading. It's a book my dad lent me over the holiday, and it's called, "Start where you are." It's a book based on some Tibetan Buddhist principles, and so far, I have found it very helpful in my quest to live a more balanced life. There have been many passages I have found insightful and helpful, but one in particular is the saying that I chose for the title of this oh-so-very personal blog entry. "No one is okay, and all of us are fine." I could go through and explain my interpretation of the passage, but really i would rather let you just sit and marinate on that simple phrase. It really resonates with me, and reminds me I am a part of all existence, and that I am never really alone.

In 2006 when I was grieving the loss of my baby girl, there was an old Mountain Goats song that my sister had loved the year before. It got us both through really rough times. The song is called, "This Year", and the best part is the really angsty chorus that sings, "I am gonna make it through this year, if it kills me." I won't tell you how many times i blasted it in my little Nissan, singing loudly through my tears. Okay, well I do need to get to my readings for class tomorrow, but I feel happy to have gotten some of this out of my head and off my chest. Sometimes it's just so much more of a burden to carry all your hurt around with you. Sharing is caring.

My New Sanctuary

It has been a very long week. We started class on Wednesday, and i have been putting myself through either physical, intellectual or emotional demands every day since then. Since I bought my new bed last July, I never did purchase a matching comforter/sheet set for the queen size (i used to have a full size). I have been using mixed (and not matched) sheet sets that Adam had lying around as well as a couple of random blankets. I have decided that with all the effort I am putting into making my room a more hospitable place, I would reward myself with a nice fluffy matching linen set. And boy, did I! My friend Natasha and I made the epic journey to Ikea this afternoon. I did a reasonably good job of sticking to my list, and on that list was a new comforter, duvet cover and fun contrasting color sheets.




It was tricky getting the color to show up right in these photos. The big fluffy duvet cover (feelin' pretty fancy with a duvet!) is a deep royal purple with a sateen finish. The sheets and contrast pillows are a fun turquoise and also with a satiny sheen. In this turmoil of a semester (more on all that later), I find that the most important thing for me is to have a place of serenity to get away from all the stresses of my life. Hopefully my new (and very comfy) bed will be all that and more!

Testing

Hello from the iPhone! This is the first picture I took while Adam was
walking down the sidewalk gabbing on my iPhone box. He was cracking me
up!

Penultimate Day of Winter Break

Yeah, I know it's kind of obnoxious- but it's not very often I get to use that very fun word! Anyways, school starts on Wednesday, and I have been spending my morning trying to organize my unsightly room before the true craziness begins. Oh, and I also spent about three hours playing on my iphone. Yes, that's right- I said iphone! Now, this may seem a little extravagant for someone living frugally on a student's budget- but there are many practical applications that will help keep me organized for school. There is also a handy (and free!) app (oh, I'm up on all the lingo now) that I can use at my clinicals to look up medications and their side effects, interactions and dosages. Last semester I had to lug around a big hunk of a drug book and it was a pain!

I'm going to go figure out how to start blogging from my iphone- and therefore many more posts to come! Hopefully I will also include a lot more pictures in my blog since I will always have my camera on me (i heart my new phone/ipod/camera/pda!) OK, I will stop gushing now I promise.

Cookie = Love

I pulled this out of my little 100 calorie snack pack and wanted to share my heart with the world! (or at least the people who read my blog) Random, I know- but i thought it was neat. So now that it has been photographed I can eat it now! Thanks!